Saturday, July 01, 2006

Felting Dr. Freud

I don't have what you'd call a robust sense of self-esteem when it comes to my appearance. I'm not, like, all emo about it or anything. I leave the house, rarely listen to The Smiths, and I couldn't recite more than 4 or 5 lines of Emily Dickinson by heart. I just think of myself as kind of . . . lumpen.

And that's ok, too. We can't all have hot bods, regardless of the fat netting of lies that the good folks at Xenical would like you to eat. And all things considered, it's better to err on the side of lumpen than to head out in your ultra low-rise jeans and belly top singing "Have Beer Gut, Will Travel." Trust me, I live in the midwest.

So y'all don't need to pass the hat for my therapy. Or do you? Dun dun DUUUUUUUNNN. Here's the complicating factor: In addition to a body image of already suspect accuracy, I've also lost a bunch of weight recently. But the self-esteem meter seems to be stuck on lumpen, because here are a few things that I've knit for myself:

  1. Skully from Stitch N Bitch in size XL, that's a 54-inch bust. Never, in my whole born life, have I had a 54-inch bust. But that's ok, right? After all, it's an oversized sweater. It just takes about 75 years (and 3 more skeins than the instructions call for) to knit, that's all.
  2. Tank Girl, also from Stitch N Bitch in size large, which should be a reasonable 39-inch bust. Uh, apparently yarn subsitution didn't go right, because that baby could easily accommodate me AND a baby.
  3. But the pisser. OH THE PISSER. is Tempting from Knitty, which I've just finished. And, apparently, though I CLEARLY remember casting on for the size large (40-inch bust . . . I should've gone a size down) . . . uh, I'm a za'tarc or something, because I seem to have cast on for the XL and the majestic 44-inch bust.

So, yeah, it's not about my quality of life. It's not about enhancing my relationships by being able to love myself. It's about the goddamned knitting.


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